There are basically two ways to deal with Fibromyalgia: accept it or resist it. We start out fighting against it. We push ourselves. We resist. Eventually, we realize resistance is only creating more suffering for ourselves.
We begin to accept things are different now. Our life has changed. Fibromyalgia is not going away. We have to look at our situation realistically. Our old life is being replaced by a new life full of limitations.
I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia over 10 years ago. At first, I could not accept that my life would have to change. I kept trying to do everything the same way I always have. Pushing and pushing myself to get things done. Working, taking care of my grandchildren, housework. I’m sure you can guess what happened -I crashed.
I spent three years barely functioning. I was taking at least 9 medications for various fibromyalgia symptoms. I couldn’t think straight. I had no energy. I lived in a daze. Couldn’t even call it living. I was existing.
Eventually, I had to accept that life had changed. I accepted fibromyalgia. I had to create a new life. One that was worth living. For the most part, I am happy with my new life. I never took time for myself before. I do now. I appreciate the little things more. I write which is something I have always wanted to do. My life is peaceful and quiet which is what I prefer.
I was sure that I had fully accepted this chronic illness. I was sure that I had stopped resisting. But, I haven’t, not completely. I have been practicing mindfulness/meditation and am becoming more aware of my pain-related thoughts and my true feelings about pain. I am noticing how they increase the muscle tension, anxiety, and pain. I realized there is one symptom in particular that causes me the most stress.
Resistance creates suffering.
– Dan Millman
Stress happens when your mind resists what is.
The only problem in your life is your mind’s resistance to life, as it unfolds.
The fibromyalgia symptom that I still resist
Fibro Fog. Instead of giving myself a break, I push myself. In doing so, I make myself feel worse. Stressed out and frustrated. Brain fog is the one symptom that scares the h*** out of me, especially memory loss. I don’t want to accept it.
Fibro fog is not something I experience, at least not at this level unless I am also fatigued. It’s been a long time since I have suffered this level of fatigue and brain fog. I have been doing so well, it’s just so frustrating to backslide. I have to keep telling myself this too shall pass. It’s just a bump in the road.
I haven’t felt well since Oct. 5th. That was the day I lost my 14-year-old poodle, Nyka. If you read my post: Chronic Illness in Pets, you might remember she had congestive heart failure. I had been preparing myself for this day for at least a year. Her bad days way outnumbered the good, especially in September, and I knew it wouldn’t be much longer. I was focused on taking care of her and not myself so much.
Within 2 days after Nyka passed, I was in so much pain, I was back to using my cane. But this time, instead of lying in bed, I stayed active. I had to or the grief was overwhelming. I felt lost. I didn’t realize how much time I spent taking care of Nyka. Giving her medications on time. Cooking for her. Hand-feeding her so she would eat. Taking her out frequently. Cleaning up messes, when she didn’t make it out in time.
I got the pain back under control by using my foam roller and stretching 3-4 times a day instead of my usual once or twice a day. I also cleaned every room in my house from top to bottom. Little by little, each day.
You would think the fatigue would have come from all the cleaning. But it came a few weeks later. Now, I can’t seem to shake it. Of course, it brought brain fog along for the ride. I know it is probably due to stress and grief. Another factor may be because I ran out of CoQ10. Since CoQ10 is a supplement that helps the mitochondria make energy, that may explain why I have none.
Acceptance is not submission; it is acknowledgment of the facts of a situation. Then deciding what you’re going to do about it.
– Kathleen Casey Theisen
I started taking CoQ10 again a few days ago. And I am going to rest. I am not going to expect more out of my brain than it is capable of right now. No to-do list. And I am not going to feel guilty for saying “NO”.
Well, there you have it. Brain fog is the fibromyalgia symptom I resist the most. What symptom do you resist?
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I have had brain fog so bad the past few days but I have kept pushing myself because I have gotten so behind on my house work due to the fact that after working all day when I get home I do well to fix something to eat…..I hate the fog and yes it scares the hell out of me too. My husband and I went to town yesterday morning and after coming out of one of the stores I got very disoriented for a few, such a scary feeling. I hate going anywhere alone because of this.
Hi, Rhonda. Disorientation is very scary. I have had that happen to me a few times, once when I was driving. I don’t go anywhere alone or drive very often anymore.
It’s funny how often the thing we resist the most is the exact thing we need to be giving our full attention too. I resisted so much and, like you, ended up completely crashing. I am still working my way back up from that– it’s a slow process. I don’t know what my life will look like but I know it won’t be the same as before.
I’m sorry to hear you are continuing to have a difficult time. Grief is really hard on anyone but especially so for us poor souls that have chronic illness. It’s never easy to lose a pet and it’s devastating 🙁 What I’ve learned over the past month is that it’s okay to go back to square one, take pressure off and ensure you get lots of quality rest. Sometimes that step backwards is what we need to move forwards. I truly hope you begin to feel better soon.
Thanks, Donna. It is devastating, but I am getting better. I will always miss her, but I am getting to the point where I can think about her in happier times. I also believe we do need that step back at times. A time to reflect, re-adjust and become stronger.
Generally, I have a hard time accepting it, as I have also been diagnosed with bipolar, ADHD, and chronic joint pain. What bothers me the most:
Brain fog. I feel that my once super sharp and focused brain has basically turned into mush when I reverse numbers, start stuttering around because I cannot seem to remember the easiest words, i.e.chair…
Pain. I get so upset because there is almost no rhyme or reason; except cold/humid weather, hormonal changes. I can pace myself one day, hurt like hell the next. Or, I get stubborn, dig around iny yard all day, perfectly fine the next day.
Fatigue scares the heck out of me. I can fall asleep at the computer, actively working on something, not realizing it. I wake up, feel disoriented. Two weeks in a row now, I went to bed at night at a reasonable hour. When I woke up, I thought it was still morning time. To my absolute horror, it was almost 3PM. How does this happen?
Thanks for listening and sharing.
Basket Case
Brain fog upsets me the most also. The more fatigued I am the worse the brain fog is. I still have times when I get upset over the fluctuating symptoms. It is so hard to know what causes some flare-ups especially when you’re trying to do the right things by pacing yourself. I flip-flop between acceptance and frustration. If you have fibro, you most likely have a sleeping disorder. For instance, sleep apnea can cause you to fall asleep during daytime activities. I know I am a complete mess when I can’t get the right sleep and my depression is worse. My problem is not being able to fall asleep and stay asleep. I went through a period of time when I slept over 18 hours and still felt exhausted on a regular basis. I haven’t done that since I went off most of my medications. The only medication I take for fibro now is amitriptyline and I take it to help me sleep. It works great for me without any side effects. Not only does it help me sleep, I get the restorative sleep I need. If you haven’t talked to your doctor about the sleep problems you should. If you can do something about the sleep problems it will help you feel better overall.